My Kinda Love (Listen to a RealAudio G2 clip here!)
by Justin Rosolino
About the song:
So I was dating this girl and she kinda cut the whole thing off. And I remember sitting in my room after "the phone call" and thinking, "well, as long as she misses me as much as I miss her, I guess that's OK." Basically I wanted to know that she was hurt, too; that I was important to her. It's not the worst thing to want in the world, but it got me thinking - do I really love people? I mean LOVE people - selflessly, unconditionally; the love that I thought I'd always understood. Or do I just want to be wanted? If so, then the woman in question is really immaterial - it's all about me and not about her at all. So this song deals with that rude awakening to my own selfishness.
If I could just hear you say out loud that you regretted
all the things that made you disappear,
if you would admit you knew the sorrow I'd accepted,
like a guilty child knows fear...
If I could just see inside your head while you remember
the way we both hated life - alone;
if you would just say that I'm the one that you let slip away,
and not some circumstance that you'd outgrown
Cause what I needed you to give is what you took from me:
assurance that I alone could earn your love,
that it was me who wrote the book on lovability;
I need to see your loss I guess,
you only truly love me if you love the others less,
it's written on the rooftops, but my heart will not confess, so
Tell me - I'm the only one you ever loved and lost,
Tell me - that your leaving hurt you more,
Sing to me - of the selfless way I served you,
cause my kinda love won't go without reward.
Remember sweet sister all those summers in New Hampshire,
we'd hide from steaming suns in mountain streams.
Why is it so that when you'd shove me in the water
I wouldn't mind as much if I could pull you in with me?
(Double-secret 4th verse - not on the recording. I only play it live on
occasion. How cool and mysterious, eh?)
If only my love were not so proud, then I could give it,
but what is the object of my kinda love?
If love is just knowing that it's me who's truly wanted,
then love becomes my soul's own measuring cup - is that enough?